Fading

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.

These words from Casting Crowns "Who am I" come from the truth of God's Word. 1 Peter 1:24 says,

All men are like grass,
and all their glory is like the flowers of the field;
the grass withers and the flowers fall

Nothing makes this truth more real then standing before the lifeless body of someone who you recently spent time with.

I am withering grass, a fading flower, a vapor in the wind.

All that is undetermined is what mark I will leave in this world. I have confidence that I will spend eternity with Jesus because of His sacrifice on the cross. I am trusting in Him alone for salvation. What is yet to be determined is how I will live here on earth, and what will be stored up in heaven.

Wow life is so short. Seriously Rob, stop wasting time. It will be gone before you know it.

Random update

Since I ran the race on Thursday...

• I came down with some violent 24 hour illness. Never did get to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner, and had to go home early from my parents house, but was better after a rough night.

• Missed our Turkey Bowl, which I was REALLY looking forward to. Brutal.

• Spent Saturday hanging up Christmas lights and having "Special Christmas Day" with my family. It rocked.

• Received the sad news that my friend and colleague, Pastor Larry Cavin went to be with the Lord.

• Reconnected with students on Sunday morning.

• Went to lunch with a group, then to play practice, then hung out for a few hours

• Got to connect with a college student and then go hang out with more High Schoolers into the wee hours of the morning

• Got up early today for my middle daughters "Special Day" in pre-school. She was SO adorable!

• Went shopping with my wife and mom for my youngest daughter who is ready to shed the diapers (or at least try).

• Spent the last hour doing nothing but writing e-mail and updating this blog.

EXCITING, isn't it?

Run Forrest!

I don't really like running. The most I have ever ran at one time is five miles, and it seemed eternal. Fortunately I was running with friends, so it was tolerable, but still longgggggg!

I have ran a few 5k races just to do it. When I was running regularly a few years ago, it was a bit easier. Last year I ran the Thanksgiving Day race in Downers Grove (Bonfield Express). I planned to train, but ended up running it even though I had not run at all in over a year prior. It was really rough. I walked much of it and finished around 36 minutes.

This year I was more determined. I still slacked and did not start running until a couple weeks before, but that made a huge difference. I did really well in the first two miles, but really struggled with the last mile. I don't have my exact time yet, but I know it's under 30 minutes. The best part? My family came to cheer me on. Maybe you can see me waving to them in the above picture.

Happy Thanksgiving

Reflections from Music City

I wrote parts of this on Friday, parts on Saturday. It was a great few days in Nashville at the National Youth Workers Convention. I hesitated in going to this because there is a lot of "flash" to this event. I thought about going the way of more "ministry leadership" substance, but I did not for one reason. The substance of this convention is about student ministry, which is my passion. I needed to be here.

I love sitting at a bar. Seriously, it's an incredible place to process. I get my cherry flavored cola and chat with the bartender while thinking about life. I started typing this (on a Mac no less) and then chatted with the two bartenders, one from Alabama, one from Egypt, for a while. This is great. God is so gracious to me. Seriously, I am a complete idiot. (you likely are nodding your head in agreement) I could not take another breath apart from God's favor, but I walk around like pleasing myself is the chief end all to my existence. Why is He SO GOOD to me?

I can't believe I get to hear HIS voice. He should leave me by now, forgetting about everything I have pledged, promised, and vowed. He does not leave me alone. He relentlessly pursues me.

I have a friend who says the words to David Crowder's "Here is Our King" don't make sense. Friday they really made sense to me. After a message that really went along with everything I have been hearing recently, this was the first song Crowder sang.

what was said to the rose to make it unfold
was said to me, here in my chest
So be quiet now, and rest.

God spoke to the rose, commanding it to unfold. God spoke to me, in my chest, in my heart, calling me to Him. I can rest and be content because GOD SPEAKS and GOD PURSUES ME.

That's good stuff. HERE IS OUR KING. He comes for ME. That says nothing about me. It says everything about HIM. He comes for me, despite who I am.

I have been discontent for a while (see my Tuesday night post which poured out after weeks of stewing). I don't want to stay that way. I am changing. I have heard from others. I am not alone.

If you don't get this, then it's not for you, simple as that. If your heart does not resonate with what I am saying, then wait for my next post, whatever it might be. This is not for you.

The bottom line is that I want to be someone who hears God speak, and responds, no matter what. I have lost that to a degree. Sure I listen to Him, but not with the relentless passion and reckless abandon that I once had. I have been tamed and have become "safe."

Change starts with me. I get that. I am not going to spend my life for this. It's not worth it. I want to spend my life displaying the greatness of God in this world, for bringing His Kingdom to this earth, to help students experience a genuine intimacy with God. I want to inspire a generation of passionate Kingdom-minded students who see Jesus as who He is - the one worth dropping EVERYTHING for.

What I have been spending every waking moment on during the past couple days is trying to understand HOW God desires to make it happen. It's not a program (we need less programs, not more). It's not a sermon that nobody will remember (though the preaching of God's Word has great power.) We don't need more lame commitments that will last a good day or so.

So what do we need? What IS the answer? Everything in ministry is changing. What worked in 2005 does not work now. Students are different. Technology is advancing, the media targets teens with more than half of their advertising. Students are not impressed with our flashy programs.

The "church kids" just want everything to be "like we have always done it." The parents and other adults just want me to "do what the kids want." If I have to hear one more person say "well the students seem to like it" I will probably throw up. Since when is my priority to find out what the students like and then do it? What do they know about organizing a ministry that produces kingdom priorities? Parents don't decide teenagers just have to watch TV and not do chores because "they seem to like that." Teachers don't stop giving homework or having tests because "that's what students like." Why is that attitude SO prevalent in the church? It's because we don't know what else to do! I have fallen into that thinking. I have found myself "doing what I have done" because "it worked in the past." The only problem is that it DOESN'T work, GOD WORKS, and sometimes He does things differently then we "have always done it."

On Friday I felt this was going somewhere. I have a lot of questions. I want others to join me in asking these questions and finding answers. I truly am looking for sincere dialogue that helps me see how to be more effective in ministering to students. Everything is changing in our world, in our culture. Teenagers influence everything (remember when Facebook was just for college kids? that's how it started). It's true. They still long to belong, for true communion with others. If they don't find it in the church, they will find it elsewhere - and miss out on that personal, genuine connection with Almighty God.

Everything is changing. I pray God will raise up students and adults who will come on board as we work with God in what He is already doing. Seriously, it's gut check time, it's where the rubber meets the road. I'll either get to be a part of God firing up students or just get fired. I don't care, as long as I can be faithful and true to the One who has rescued me.

And that's all I have to say about that. Ha ha, I doubt that =)

Oops

So a few minutes ago I was on an elevator. It was really crowded and I was among the last people on, so I figured why not attempt humor. I said "could you press 3,4,6,7,11, and 17 please?" A bunch of people laughed and I figured I had served my purpose of comic relief UNTIL I noticed a woman started pushing the buttons I had asked for! I stopped her after 6, and well...let's just say it got awkward fast.

So I got off on 3 =)

I have a serious post coming up, but have had blog issues - which I took as a need to re-write my post and write it when I get home.

Shalom

New Blog

On the right side of my page, you will see a new link to a blog entitled "Terrific Top Tens." One of our creative college students manages this blog, and I HIGHLY recommend it. It's very entertaining!

Confuzzled

I wish they knew how much He believes in them
How they can do things that matter in this world and the next

I wish they knew how so many things don't matter the way they think they do
How easily their priorities are so far from what God desires

I wish they knew just how great of a season they are in the midst of
How this time in their life could define who they will be forever

I wish they knew that they need to connect with God more than they need anything else

I wish they knew that His Word is ALIVE

I wish they knew His Word will do things in their lives beyond what they could ever dream

I wish they knew that they have the greatest treasure this world will ever know

I wish they knew how sometimes I want to walk away, to give up on them

I wish they knew how frustrating their apathy can be

I wish they knew how Great He really is. I'm trying to help them see that.

That's why I can't walk away

There's work to do, so much more to do

This isn't working right now

Is it?

Is this what it's supposed to look like?

It's so different from what I thought it would look like

Is this what I am supposed to be doing? Is it making a difference?

It's fun to be liked, that's always nice validation

It's FAR BETTER when someone really really really connects with God in a personal way

THAT is better than flattering words

Or love and affection

Or encouragement

Is anyone doing that or are they just building great friendships on their way to lukewarm complacency where they will be the next generation to spend their time and energy on things that don't really matter

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish

But wishing is stupid. And so is this entry. And so is the apathy I am trying hard to overcome

I swore I would never become just like them

I wanted to be different

I wanted to be a trailblazer, a revolutionary, a leader who inspires people to live for Jesus to their fullest potential

I wanted that since that night more than fifteen years ago when He spoke to me

Sometimes I think I've blown my chance, I've screwed it up, I've messed up far too much, too often, too big

Maybe I have, but the truth is that I don't care

Because I'm still here

Still willing

Just looking for a spark